Micro Weddings 101: Everything You Need to Know About Intimate Gatherings

From sourdough starters to TikTok dances, the pandemic brought us a number of trends. In the wedding industry, one idea entered the lexicon and quickly became a mainstay for couples: micro weddings. Also referred to as a “minimony,” a micro wedding is a smaller, more intimate gathering with your closest friends and family. There could be a near-identical schedule of events as a typical wedding, down to the three-tiered cake, but with a shorter guest list and cozier feel. Not to be confused with an elopement, it doesn’t come with an element of spontaneity, but rather a planned celebration for only your nearest and dearest. 

Micro weddings host anywhere between a couple to 50 guests, but the average range is around 20 to 50 invitees. Small wedding ceremonies aren’t totally uncommon, but they became a thoughtful, romantic solution for couples who originally planned to get married during the COVID-19 pandemic. Years later, people are still inspired by the idea to keep their guest list short to create a more personalized experience for themselves and their guests, switch the script on the classic wedding ceremony and reception, and to save money. 

In this guide, we’ll cover everything couples need to know about planning their own micro wedding—from building your guest list to sending out wedding invitations to saying, “I do.”

Why Couples Are Choosing Micro Weddings

There’s something to be said about a small gathering with only your favorite people. Over the years, couples have decided on a micro wedding for countless reasons. We narrowed it down to the four most common factors involved in ultimately choosing a micro wedding:  

• Post-pandemic shifts: Trends come and go, but the rise of the micro wedding has had lasting effects in the wedding industry. Couples are drawn to the intimacy and convenience of micro weddings, even years after the COVID-19 pandemic canceled so many weddings in 2020 and 2021.
• Budget: Here’s one consistent truth for all wedding budgets: Your guest count and wedding cost are directly linked. A 10-person wedding will require up to 10 invites, 10 meals, 10 table settings, and so on. By comparison, a 100-person wedding will lead to a tenfold increase for all of those must-haves—and the costs associated with them. Your micro wedding budget will inevitably cost less than a wedding with two to 20 times the number of guests invited. 
• Flexibility: On the flip side, some couples want to jet off to an island in the Caribbean or explore the ancient ruins in Greece for their wedding. This may increase the wedding budget, but keeping your guest list small can still allow you to go the non-traditional route and cut costs along the way. Choosing a specific set of guests can also ensure that your favorite people will attend, no matter what.
• Personal preferences: Introverted couples might prefer a smaller celebration for their big day. It’s an overwhelming occasion as-is, and having fewer eyes and only your closest connections present can give you a greater sense of calm during this time.

Key Considerations for Planning a Micro Wedding

With any small-scale wedding, you can avoid things like hefty costs and feeling obligated to invite people you don’t know as well. That said, there are specific considerations you’ll need to make to be as organized and prepared as possible. Here are our top tips for getting started with micro wedding planning: 

• Building your guest list: You can think of this as a guest list curation. There are some pitfalls to inviting only a few guests, like their availability and the awkwardness of not asking someone who’s expecting an invite. Focus on family members and closest friends first, and then discuss any other connections you may want to attend. Remember that this is your dream day, and focus on the people who matter most to you and your partner. Beforehand, you can do some outreach and make sure the date and location work for each guest. With a micro wedding, you have the luxury of only needing to contact a few people, and this step can allow you to have a more complete group of guests at your celebration. 
• Choosing the best wedding venue: After you’ve decided on your guest list, you’ll have a rough estimate of the number of people who will ultimately attend your event. Start by selecting the city where you want to tie the knot, and then reach out to venues in the area—or hire a local planner who can help you do the legwork. If you want a more non-traditional micro wedding, you can inquire about options like cliffside or mountainside ceremonies, Michelin-starred restaurants, and more. 
• Organizing your wedding timeline: Most couples take about a year to plan their wedding, but micro weddings may give you the luxury of a shorter timeline. Depending on where and when you want to get married, you can plan a micro wedding in just a few weeks. For example, you can get married at a family home and only invite a handful of people, and it won’t require too much planning. You may not have all of the traditional elements of a wedding with such a quick turnaround, but you can easily create digital invites through an online stationery company and send them out immediately. While it’s more courteous to give guests a few months, the timeline tends to be more flexible when you have a shorter guest list. 
• Sending out Save the Dates and wedding invitations: As mentioned above, all timelines and wedding styles can work with the most popular wedding websites, Save the Dates, and wedding invitations. Simply choose your desired look by reviewing the templates available, and create your own unique design. Wedding etiquette experts recommend giving guests notice of your wedding (Save the Dates) about six to nine months prior, or as far back as a year if you’re planning a destination. About six to eight weeks before the big day, you should also send a formal wedding invitation via mail or email. From there, guests should have about two to three weeks to submit their RSVPs. Because micro weddings only include a few guests, you likely already know whether or not someone will attend, but people genuinely appreciate these notices and the formalities involved in planning a wedding (micro or not!). 

The planning process is overwhelming, no matter how many people you invite to your wedding. One way to navigate this is to enlist a pro—we always recommend hiring a professional wedding planner to offer best-in-class ideas, inspiration, and advice through each step. From booking your venue to making your grand exit, a planner is there to handle it all and be a helpful listening ear as you share any concerns along the way. If your budget doesn’t allow for a planner or you'd prefer someone who’s more hands-on for the wedding day itself, wedding coordinators can act as the maestro for your micro wedding. Not to mention, some venues have on-site coordinators who can take on this day-of role as well. 

Creating Digital Invitations for a Micro Wedding

A micro wedding doesn’t mean you have to think small for your wedding stationery. There are a host of reasons why couples have leaned into the digital age with wedding Save the Dates and invitations, but it’s really up to you and your partner. Digital invitations are yet another surging trend, most notably because they’re more cost-effective and better for the environment. The modern approach to wedding invites is also well-received by wedding guests and etiquette experts alike. 

“Evites are practical, thrifty, and green,” the Emily Post website describes. However, there is a catch to this description. While these are certainly “pros,” they warn that invitations ultimately set the tone for your event. In the modern age, we’ve been introduced to high-design digital templates that are luxurious, dimensional pieces that elevate the typical digital invitation. As an alternative, you could choose to go digital for your Save the Date and then create a paper invite for the formal invitation. 

Because of the lower-maintenance nature of micro weddings, many couples prefer entire digital wedding invitation suites to provide convenience and lower stationery costs. With interactive and customizable RSVP forms, you can also add a personalized touch with special questions that go beyond “Chicken or fish?” and effectively deliver the exciting news to your guests—without using any paper or ink. 

Building a Wedding Website for a Micro Wedding

Communicating with only a few guests is significantly easier, but wedding websites take it all to the next level. These are among the first elements of your wedding design they’ll see, and similar to the invites, they set the mood for your celebration. From the theme to color scheme, there’s a lot to consider—and plenty of micro wedding inspiration to seek out online. Here are the essentials you’ll need to feature:

• Wedding details: First things first: Where and when is your wedding happening? You’ll want to include these details prominently on your wedding website, but you should also notify guests with a Save the Date and wedding invitation later on. 
• Information about other wedding events: If you’re hosting a welcome party, rehearsal dinner, post-wedding brunch, or any other events before or after your wedding, make sure your guests know. With a micro wedding, it’s most common for guests to be invited to everything, but classic weddings usually have specific guest lists for each event. 
• RSVP form: A customizable RSVP form can allow guests to digitally reply to your wedding, and then you’ll collect them to view when you login to your wedding website account. This lets you skip counting paper RSVPs by hand, which gives you more accuracy with a totally hands-free experience. 
• Travel and lodging suggestions: How should people get to your event? Share your recommendations for traveling via plane, train, or automobile. You can also provide details about a room block or hotels in the area where they should stay to streamline guests’ preparation for your wedding. 
• FAQs: Is there anything else you think your guests should know? Include it all in a handy FAQ page. This can give guests all of the additional details they need, and limit the number of texts you’ll receive in the leadup to your wedding. The more details, the better!

Other nice-to-haves: Photos of you and your partner from your relationship or a recent engagement shoot, details about the wedding party, a list of recommendations for restaurants or local sites guests should visit, or even a page sharing the story of how you met.

Micro Wedding Etiquette to Follow From Invitation to Exit

We touched on micro wedding etiquette earlier on in this guide, but let’s unpack it a bit further. The timing of it all can waver, depending on the number of invites you’re sending and how quickly you’d like to get married, but know that giving your people as much time as possible is essential. If you love the idea of a micro wedding, you prioritize your deepest relationships, so giving those close to you months or even a year to request time off of work, arrange childcare or petcare, and manage anything else going on is ideal. 

You can subtly and creatively share that you’re inviting guests to a micro wedding on your Save the Dates and invitations, though people often add a bit more personality to their Save the Dates. Some popular ideas include:

• Nothing fancy, just love
• We’re going micro
• We’re keeping it simple
• Small wedding, big love
• Our closest people and our biggest day
• A little wedding with a lot of heart

Your wedding invitations can also detail your emphasis on the micro wedding concept, by sharing that you want to be “surrounded by our closest family and friends.” Or you can explicitly say you’re inviting them to your “micro wedding.” 

Another important topic is plus-one policies. It’s common for people to give each guest a plus-one, but the rules are somewhat different for a micro wedding. In fact, the Emily Post team says, “Brides and grooms should be aware that spouses, fiancé(e)s and live-in romantic partners (no matter the sex) must be invited with your guests; boyfriends and girlfriends who don’t reside together don’t need to be.” 

Then there’s kids. Some couples love the idea of having children running around and adding their sweet voices and vibrant energy to their celebration, while others prefer a more calm atmosphere with adults only. This is a component you’ll need to discuss with your partner, since it can greatly affect your guest count and micro wedding cost. You should also have a rule that applies to all guests, particularly in a micro wedding setting, since it’ll feel insulting to guests whose children aren’t included. 

The best way you can communicate your details is through your wedding website, Save the Date, and wedding invitations. The email or envelope should clearly state the guest’s name, and any plus-ones (date or children). You can include each invited person’s name, or write, “and Guest” to denote a plus-one who you don’t know. For families, you can write out each child’s name or address the family as a whole (i.e. “The Smith Family”). 

With these notes in mind, you could have guests reach out to ask about inviting a plus-one. This can also come up with your parents, who might’ve imagined inviting their friends or even coworkers to your wedding. If that happens, you can share more details about the micro wedding and set your expectations early on. These are intimate and small, and adding to your guest list—especially with a person you don’t know well—deviates from your plan. Be kind, respectful, and honest as you navigate these sometimes-difficult conversations with friends and family. 

While wedding etiquette has a set of guidelines for couples, you really have to go with your gut. Many couples who plan micro weddings are already bucking tradition, so don’t feel pressured to have a traditional approach to your wedding. This goes back to having a respectful conversation with anyone who questions your decisions, and emphasizing your needs and desires as a couple. 

Creating the Best Atmosphere and Overall Experience at a Micro Wedding

Whether you have five or 50 people at your micro wedding, there are a few routes you can take to further communicate your wedding energy and vibe. Are you looking for a whimsical getaway tucked into the mountains? A rooftop takeover in the middle of Manhattan? A mini rave at a warehouse with your favorite tunes playing all night long? A shoe-free beachside celebration on a tropical island? Or a casual barbecue hangout with a side of nuptials? Whatever you decide, these are the micro wedding ideas to explore:

• Personalized decor: Is there a recurring motif in your relationship? Perhaps it’s a sunflower your partner picked for you on your first date, or a signature cocktail you shared. Add continuity to these special moments from your history together with a graphic. With online stationery sites like Bliss & Bone, you can also customize your own wedding logo or monogram, which you can use on your invitation suite, wedding aisle, dance floor, cocktail napkins, and more. Any personal touches will go a long way at your wedding, and with a micro wedding, you only need to order a few items to give to your guests. 
• Entertainment options: A large-scale band and DJ might not feel appropriate for a romantic and intimate micro wedding—but that doesn’t mean you need to skip the dance floor altogether. Consider alternatives like a personal playlist you make with your partner, an acoustic musician or duo (think a guitarist, harpists, violinist, or cellist), a string quartet or jazz trio, or even a vinyl DJ. Music aside, you can add on other entertaining experiences for you and your guests, such as a live painter to document the day through art, a photo booth or Polaroid station, and more. For a more laidback atmosphere, you could also have board games, lawn games for an outdoor event, or even a little karaoke that gets the entire guest list involved. 
• Environmentally friend favors: Smaller-scale celebrations are best for the environment, and you can keep those good, Mother Nature-approved vibes going with environmentally friendly favors. Some of our favorite sustainable ideas are reusable tote bags, honey jars in recyclable glass, and mini potted plants. If you decide to print out wedding programs, you can extend the eco-friendliness to the paper you use. On sites like Etsy, you can find plantable seed paper, which guests can take home to reuse to grow their own plant babies.
• Thoughtful notes for each guest: So many people love a micro wedding because they have the rare opportunity to spend time with each guest. The same can’t be said for couples at a 200-person wedding, and another way to share an intimate moment is by welcoming them with a note. It doesn’t have to be long, but take a few moments to write down why you love and appreciate each person. This is all you really need to tug at their heartstrings and surround the room with love, plus it’s the perfect keepsake. Just make sure there are tissues nearby!
• Other special touches: Micro weddings are a trending idea, but at their core, they’re all about authenticity and originality. A longer, more elaborate meal (five courses, anyone?), off-the-wall entertainment, and even the setting of your event can skew from traditional wedding concepts. If you can budget for it, pick one dream vendor and splurge on it for you and your guests. Think of it as a treat for yourself, your partner, and your select number of guests. 

Beyond these points, there are two people who can ultimately create the best atmosphere and experience for your guests: you and your partner. If you two are aligned and feel like this day is authentic to you and your relationship, your joy and love will have a lasting effect on your guests. This is your day, so prioritize your happiness and what matters most to both of you. And if you do have a dance floor, make sure you’re both in the middle of it as often as possible. 

Real Examples of Micro Weddings

We could wax poetic about the benefits of a micro wedding, but seeing is believing. There are so many sources of inspiration for intimate, small-scale weddings that have been hosted all over the world. From age-old estates to modern outdoor terraces to luxury hotels, learn more about their celebrations, and get a few more micro wedding ideas below:

Many of our favorite micro wedding couples were married in international locales, but you can create a similar atmosphere in your hometown or local city. In fact, a family member’s or friend’s home is a heartfelt setting to bring your loved ones together—and it’s a win for your micro wedding budget, too.

How Much Does a Micro Wedding Cost?

It’s understandable that you’ll spend less money on a micro wedding, but special features like entertainment, multi-course meals, and other activities can increase the overall cost of your big day. According to the Knot, the overall average wedding cost is $33,000 and the average cost per guest is $284. When you do the math, that means a wedding with about 116 people costs $284, or $33,000 overall. If you take only a fraction of that guest count and apply the same per person cost, we can estimate that a 50-person wedding should cost about $14,200. This is only an estimation, but it’s a good starting point as you go into deeper conversations about your micro wedding cost.

In most cases, the venue accounts for 40 percent of your overall wedding cost, but this can vary much more for micro wedding couples. Having a smaller group also opens up the possibility of having a micro wedding at a private home, a restaurant buyout or private room, park or recreational area, or another space that may not come with a wedding price tag. Speak with potential venues and vendors about your plans and guest count, and then go from there to get a full picture of your estimated wedding cost. 

The Takeaway: Celebrating Big Love With a Small Group

In the past, people planning their weddings during the COVID-19 pandemic often thought they were making concessions to accommodate the safety protocols and keep their gathering small. Now, it continues to trend because of the notion that a micro wedding gives you a memorable day that’s exclusive to you and your closest friends and family members. We encourage you to look at the upsides of a micro wedding, including but not limited to the warm atmosphere it provides, the opportunity to potentially splurge on select vendors, venue variety, and staying on budget. And for even more micro wedding inspiration, make sure to review other intimate weddings from Carats & Cake.